You have to leave your comfort zone if you wanna glo-up.
Disclaimer: If you’re here to hear all about how to make your ex suffer, then you’ve come to the wrong place. Why? Because this shit we're on isn't about them. It about YOU. We’re striving for personal growth. Plus, if your ex is someone who feeds off of knowing that they broke you or that you miss them, then seeing you thrive and prosper is all the revenge you need.
So, firstly, determine why you’re striving to change. Introspection is needed in order for you to determine whether your intentions are the right ones. Trust me, spending more time on toxic people is not what you need. What you need is better people in your life. So if need be, while going through this process, keep someone you trust close o you. A bff who is positive on self growth is highly suggested.
Realize that feelings won’t disappear immediately. If we could turn off our feelings easily, we’d all do it. It’s okay to miss them or to be sad about your break up. But don't let that lead to you reaching out to them being a bug and regretting it later! WAKE UP HUNNY! It's time to GLO!
Rebounds aren’t for everyone. Also, rebounding with a friend of your ex may sound great in theory, but in execution it could be the total opposite. If having something to replace the time you spent with them is direly needed, then my suggestion is to put in some overtime at work! Getting money is a great revenge, distraction and tool to boost your savings.
Rather than thinking of revenge, think about yourself. How can you grow? When I was going through a tough breakup, I took on college courses I needed to help complete my degree. I also started taking myself to the spa and reading books that motivated my glo-up.
Every relationship that we have with others teaches us a little bit more about ourselves. What did you learn about you? Do you have any qualities you can work on? We all have our flaws and that’s okay. Self reflecting can open our eyes to our own faults and help us become a better person. In most relationships, both parties have done stuff to put them in the wrong. Be honest with yourself and own up to your mistakes. It takes a big person to be able to admit when they were wrong.
Don’t feel that you’re a failure because your relationship didn’t last. If you weren’t meant to be with that person, then that’s that. Do try to become the person they want you to be just so they'll stay. That could be your worst mistake. Don't lose yourself in the process.
I know that internet culture heavily promotes being petty and getting revenge, but honestly, sometimes revenge just doesn’t feel sweet. Its a waste of time and energy and could lead to larger consequences. The best revenge is moving on in silence and doing YOU! THRIVE!
One of the hardest things to do is to delete their numbers and to get rid of the little things that stop you from moving on. Give yourself time and then clear things out. Don’t stalk their Snapchat, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter or any other social media, don’t keep yourself involved with their lives. The more you focus on them, the less you focus on you and the longer it takes to move on. Blocking them isn't petty, its a healing tactic.
Don’t air your dirty laundry everywhere, especially when you’re angry. Sometimes we say seriously mean things when we’re worked up and we come to regret saying all that when we’ve had time to cool down. The moment you start posting subliminal memes online, you'll open up the messy situation to strangers who don't have real feelings towards your relationship and could make it worse. Unsolicited opinions on the matter can do so much damage to what's already considered a mess. Of course, talk to a few trusted friends and family, but the whole world doesn’t need to take a side. Don’t stop taking care of yourself. You deserve your very best. If you’re having trouble taking care of you, make a list and stick to it. Make sure you shower every day and eat, even though you might not feel like it.
Don’t allow them or yourself to create excuses to keep seeing them. Space is needed to heal. Make new friends, do more things. Most exes love seeing us suffer, so don’t allow that to happen. Don’t stop yourself from enjoying yourself. Also, if you go out and feel that you need to go home when you get there, it’s fine to go home too. At least you tried.
Don’t post on social media about your heartbreak or photos with captions that say that you’ve moved on. That shows the whole world that you haven’t moved on. The best way to show that you’ve moved on is to leave the relationship in the past. Move in silence... its so much more classy. Its almost as if the never existed!
There’s no reason for exes to be hitting you up, especially be careful when you post pics of you looking like a snack. If they try to reach out, don’t respond or simply tell them to stay in their lane. But they should be blocked...soooo this SHOULDN'T be a issue! Right?!
ignoring is a classy revenge.
If you were cheated on you need to not let that person back into your life. Don’t even think about it. No matter how lonely you think you are, a cheater will only bring you more grief. (I know that some people feel that cheaters can be redeemed but that’s a tricky situation because once the trust is gone, it’s hard to not constantly feel paranoid)
CHANGE FOR YOU! If they said that you were too skinny or fat or whatever, don’t let that be your motivator to gain or lose weight. Rather, teach yourself to see your own beauty, teach yourself to be happy with who you are. Your weight or fashion or the hair on your body is no reason for anyone to treat you like you’re less than they are. Change your mindset and let yourself embrace your beauty.
Prove to yourself and the world that you don’t need them by making sure that you have a job, are still doing well in school and are taking care of your mind and body when they are gone. Don’t allow anything to be taken away from you.
Lastly and MOST IMPORTANTLY, if you feel that you don’t know who you are without them, don’t go into another relationship until you’re comfortable with being you and enjoying your life. Take yourself on dates, spoil yourself, prove your strength through work and school and find who you are. Until you know that you’re the shit, your relationships will make you rely on the other person for happiness. Happiness can come from within! Don’t let another person’s interest in you dictate your happiness.
The real glo up is when you stop waiting to turn into some perfect hypothetical version of yourself and consciously enjoy being who you are in the present moment.